At some point in everyone's lives, they realize they might as well just say what's on their mind because... oh, I don't know... they've finally figured out that political correctness is highly over-rated, or they've realized that they're getting older and running out of time.
(On the other hand, we all know people who come out of the womb shooting their mouths off and seem to have been born without any governor at all... but that's grist for another blog.)
In my humble observations, people generally wait too long to express themselves. Here's a test for you. Do you have more regret about things you said, or things you wish you would have said? Sure... I'll bet you have a few big blunders that you'd like to undo somewhere in your past, but I'm also betting you have one of those comments that you didn't say and it probably happened as recently as yesterday.
Unless you're old. Then you probably just said it.
A few years ago, we had an elderly gentleman named Les who worked around the building doing odd jobs and maintenance. One year, at the Christmas party, as one of the staff was called up to the front of the room, Les remarked to the people at his table, "Well, she's put on some weight!"
"Les," chided a female co-worker. "I hope you don't talk about me like that."
"No, no..." he replied, brushing off the idea. "You've always been a big girl."
Just to be clear, I'm not saying that you should go out of your way to make people miserable; I just think that there's room in the world for a little more honesty. As for those people who couldn't quite see their way to being honest, well, I suspect they'd be much more cautious about what they said and the questions they asked, if they knew the rest of the world was likely going to give them an honest response.
Don't wait until you're too old to enjoy it. Take a chance on the truth. It's incredibly liberating.
What did you say, and to whom did you say it?!
ReplyDeleteI half-jokingly made a resolution on Jan 1, 2010 that I would tell people exactly what I was thinking. I was struck by the reaction I got - mostly it was fear. People had serious issues about hearing exactly what someone else was thinking. Obviously, I have had to share a lot of uncomfortable truths and observations before, but I have done it on a daily basis since 'the resolution' so there was no 'one thing' I said that stands out.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, there are times when I don't say everything I have on my mind. Some people can't handle it and some people aren't worth the time and effort. It's a skill you develop - like the guy who can run a four minute mile. He CAN move that fast when he wants to... but he doesn't run everywhere he goes. He uses it when he needs it. Realistically, no one has time to share your unfiltered thoughts with everyone you engage. But when you need it, it's a good skill to have.